


Home is where the Heart is

by have_aniceday



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Adoption, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Familial logicality - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Gen, Insecure Morality | Patton Sanders, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Kid Morality | Patton Sanders, Logan and Roman are Patton's parents, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Multi, Platonic Moxiety, Romantic Logince - Freeform, Smart Logic | Logan Sanders, adoption au, but hes trying his best, familial royality - Freeform, patton is a precious child, roman is trying is best, things get good than slightly worse than good again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26241490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/have_aniceday/pseuds/have_aniceday
Summary: Patton Foster had never been fostered, much less adopted. His last name was horribly ironic. Until a couple takes a chance on the small, scarred boy. Roman and Logan Sanders have decided that they want to give Patton a home with them. Even if the healing process takes some time, with the help of his friends and family, Patton will start to have faith in himself(and others) again. All he needs is a little love.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 48
Kudos: 141





	1. Patton Foster

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking a chance and reading this fanfic! It's my first time, so please give me comments(and maybe kudos?) if you so desire. I really hope you enjoy this story!

Patton Foster, age 10, sat on the floor of the playroom and watched as the hopeful families filtered inside. He had always thought that his name was funny. Patton Foster. Nobody had ever bothered to foster Patton, let alone adopt him. So it was funny.

There were at least five separate families and couples, milling about and talking to the other children. Toby was drawing with a tall looking woman with curly hair. That was good. Toby had been at the orphanage for two years longer than Patton, even if he was only one year older, and he was nice. He deserved to get adopted.

Patton refocused on what he was holding in his scarred hands. He was building a castle, but it needed another tower. He placed a red block on top of the yellow rectangle. Honestly, Patton wasn’t surprised that nobody had come up to him. Besides Toby, he was actually one of the older kids in the room at the moment. He was quiet; that tended to happen to him when he was in loud or crowded spaces, and this was kind of both. And he wasn’t even trying to engage with anybody. He knew that he should be trying, but why should he when he knew what the outcome would be? He would talk to the people, and get his hopes too high, and then---

“What are you making?”

Patton startled, dropping the blue block he had been holding. A tall man was standing in front of him, wearing a bright red letterman jacket. “Oh, sorry bud. Didn’t mean to scare you. Here.” the man kneeled down, picking up the blue block and holding it out to Patton. Patton hesitated. Who was this guy? He seemed nice enough... Patton reached out slowly, grasping the block with his fingertips and placing it on top of the castle. The man beamed, sitting down all the way and crossing his legs. “My name is Roman. Can I help?”  
Patton surprised himself by responding, a whisper,

“Okay. I’d like that.”  
***  
Patton was...bewildered. Of course, people had come up to him before, looking for a potential child in him. That wasn’t new. But usually their conversation was...questions, mostly. Polite words to try and figure out if they actually liked Pat or not. But this guy just seemed like he wanted to hang out with him.

“Okay, so this tower is where the knights live, right?” Roman asked, pointing to a triangle block that had been placed to the far right.

“Mhm.” Patton nodded, “ And the Princess sleeps in this one, ‘cause the knights have to protect her.” he placed a green triangle next to the purple, the blocks piled just slightly higher.

“From what?”

Patton glanced up at the question, smiling that Roman looked like he was genuinely asking, and shrugged.“I don’t know. Dragons, witches, etcetera.”

“Ah, Dragon-witches, of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Roman threw his hands up in mock exasperation, a lopsided smile on his lips. Patton snorted, shaking his head, “No silly, dragons AND witches.” The tall man grinned at the laugh, fixing his jacket and shifting in his position on the floor.

“Suit yourself.”

***  
They had just finished the castle, and yet the man-Roman-was still there, talking to Patton. Patton wasn’t really talking back much, but he was still chiming in and smiling. Patton would be sad when Roman left to pick someone else.

Like clockwork, as Roman finished some story of how he had almost broken his leg skateboarding down a hill, he started to get up. Patton sighed. It had been nice while it lasted.  
“Hey, is it okay if I introduce you to my husband?”  
What? “W-what?” Patton stammered, then mentally kicked himself for stammering. Roman just smiled,

“Yeah, he’s right over there. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Before Patton could respond, Roman was already crossing the room. Patton took a shaky breath, rubbing his thumb across the scarred palms of his hands. Patton wasn’t sure that Roman had seen the scars; he hoped he hadn’t, but Roman hadn’t asked to shake his hand like most people did. The scars were all across both his palms, rippling raised skin that stretched from the base of his fingers across the palm and ended at the wrist. He stretched his hands out, stopping when his fingers started to shake. His right indent finger curled in a little more than the others, and he curled his hands into fists.

“Hey, Patton! I’m back.”

Patton shoved his hands into his lap, looking up sharply in surprise. He was back, and with another man. The man pushed up his glasses, giving Patton a small smile before kneeling down next to Roman.

“Salutations, Patton. My name is Logan.”

the second man, Logan, held out his hand for a handshake.

“Um.. I don’t really like handshakes.” Patton murmured, staring down at his lap. His face flushed. This is so embarrassing why can’t you just shake his hand you fr-- “Ah, apologies. Is there something you would rather do?”

Patton balked. Usually his refusal made people...uncomfortable. But this man simply sat with his hands in his lap, staring patiently. He was genuinely asking. Patton knew it was irrational, and strange, but- “Oh, um...I like hugs? Just little ones?” Patton shifted nervously where he sat, but loosened up when the man--Logan--gave a warm smile. He wasn’t put off by Patton’s strange habits?  
“That shall suffice, then.”  
Patton ducked into Logan’s arms quickly, wrapping his arms around the man and linking his fingers together behind his back. It had been a while since somebody had let him hug them. He squeezed quickly before hastily backing up and sitting back down next to his castle. “Thanks. Thank you.” he mumbled.

“No problem. I see you have built a castle here. Would you mind if I helped you build something as well?”  
Patton smiled bashfully, handing Logan a long green rectangle, “You can help me build the villains lair, please.”  
Logan couldn’t help but smile back, placing the green block on the floor.  
“Satisfactory.”

***

Roman was grinning like a madman. He knew it, too. He could feel it. But the scene just made him so darn happy.

Logan was sitting criss cross on the floor with Patton, stacking the legos together and talking in quiet tones. He rarely saw something so...domestic. Roman was surprised at first by how quiet and reserved Patton had been when Roman had introduced himself. After all, kids Patton’s age were usually so full of energy and life, running around and screaming their heads off. Then again, this was an orphanage. Kids didn’t really get in if they had a great start in life. Roman’s heart pinged with sadness. He was so small, too. And it wasn’t like Roman hadn’t seen the scars that traced the ten year old’s palms. What had done that to such an innocent little kid?

The quietness, although off-putting for Roman, didn’t seem to phase Lo. He had simply sat next to Patton, giving him adequate space and matching the volume that Patton had chosen to talk at. They were talking about where they needed to put the lair for the villain while trying to stack a tower as high as they could. Roman smiled even wider when he heard Patton snort and saw Logan grin while they tried to stop the now too-high tower from toppling to the ground.

Oh yeah. Roman wanted this kid.

***

Logan had agreed pretty much instantly. Roman had seen how he interacted with Patton, and it hadn’t exactly been a surprise. Something about the child just reached out to Roman, and it was clear that his husband wasn’t immune to the small scarred kid either. It was decided pretty easily.

Obviously.

Logan and Roman wanted this kid.

  
***  
Patton stopped breathing. “You. You’re serious, aren’t you?” he whispered, trying to quietly tell his heart to stop beating out of his chest with hope. But the two men standing before him were smiling, nodding. “Nobody, um---are you sure?” He tried again. Why do they want to adopt ME?  
“Yes, of course.” the one--Logan--spoke up, smiling slightly. “If you are okay with it, of course. We would love for you to join our family.”Patton couldn’t seem to stop vigorously nodding his head, squeezing his eyes closed. Oh gosh, don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. He felt arms wrap around him, enveloping him in a tight hug. “

We’re so happy to hear that, bud.” Roman murmured, rocking Patton back and forth. The tears started to slip from Pat’s eyes, but he felt safe in the warm darkness that was Roman’s embrace. As if nothing could hurt him. Logan joined the hug tentatively afterwards, rubbing circles in Patton’s back. Patton let the tears fall quietly, surrounded by people who finally seemed to care.

Because,

finally,

somebody wanted Patton.


	2. Not quite Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton is introduced to...well, he isn't sure if he can call it home yet. But it's...better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs:
> 
> mentions of alcohol
> 
> child neglect

“Alright, bud. Are you ready to go?”

Patton could only nod, holding his bag of belongings close to his chest and staring down at his worn shoes. Roman beamed, hopping on the heels of his feet in excitement.

Finally, they could take their boy out of this place. Finally they could re-teach him love and affection and how to be a child again.

“Want me to take your bag?”

The small child startled, snapping out of his daze and staring up at Roman with wide eyes. “O-oh. Um, sure. Thank you, sorry.” he struggled, shuffling in place before hesitantly handing over the garbage bag full of belongings.

There honestly wasn’t much in the bag. Only a few hand-me-down clothes, really, one of which he had shoved an old torn picture in the pocket. There just wasn’t much else he could take. The Winnie-the-pooh book he had ended up giving to the younger kiddos. He hoped they would remember them. He would miss reading to them before lights out.

The cookie he had hidden under his bed for special occasions he had gifted to Toby, who had also gotten adopted. He, after all, had been at the shelter longer than Patton. Therefore, he deserved the cookie more than Patton. Toby cried when Patton gave it to him. Patton would miss Toby.

The only other thing of worth he had was the friendship bracelet that the little kids had made him, and that never left his wrist. It was full of tangles and glitter, but Patton loved it.

“Patton, are you alright?” Logan was looking down at Patton, concern etched in his features. _Huh_? Patton touched his cheek, and his fingertips came back wet. _Shoot, am I crying again?_ He hastily tried to wipe the tears away, rubbing his wrists under his glasses. He wasn’t allowed to cry. He couldn’t.

“Shoot, I’m sorry, i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry! I’m f--”

“It’s quite alright, Patton.” Logan placed a hand on Patton's shoulder, hesitantly smiling when Patton seemed to lean into the touch. “Trust me, please, when I say that there is no need to apologize. This must be quite a stressful situation for you. It is a shift in what you consider normal, and it is quite understandable that you may cry.” Logan looked away, watching Roman struggle to open the trunk with his foot before turning back to Patton.

“Would you, ah, appreciate a hug at this moment?” he asked, fidgeting with the dark blue watch encircling his left wrist. Patton would appreciate a hug. The only hug he had gotten from Logan so far was the rather rushed one he had given when they first met, and later on when the older man had given him an awkward side-hug.

A real hug from Logan _would_ be nice.

But… What if Logan was only asking out of obligation? What if he thought that he had to? Patton had, in his old household, often asked his mother for a hug to only be forcefully denied. His father had not had enough time for hugs, and when he had it had been with a disgruntled sigh. Patton didn’t want to pressure Logan into giving him a hug. He felt himself shake his head.

“No, that’s okay Mr.--Lo--, um...That’s okay, Sir.” Patton sighed, frustration clear on his face.

“That’s quite alright, Patton. If you do not want a hug right now, no hard feelings. And calling me and Roman by our names is fine. We certainly would never expect you to call us sir.” he chuckled, “and you should feel no pressure to call us dad or anything of the sort until you are comfortable.” Logan opened the car door for him, gesturing for Patton to enter and get settled.

“Shall we head home?”

*****

Home. It had been a while since Patton had had one of those, if he could really say that he had one in the first place.

 _\--that was rude to think--_ he chastised himself, _\--Mom and Father tried their best. You were just too much to handle.--_

he looked at the front seat, where Logan was driving and Roman was fiddling with the radio.

_\-- Never again.--_

Roman stopped changing stations when he found a song he liked, singing along boisterously. Logan rolled his eyes, but Patton could tell that he was smiling. It was a little too loud to Patton, but he didn’t want to say anything.

- _\- because she always yells, and it’ll make her angry, and she’s just yelling to make you understand--_

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, twirling the bracelet around his wrist until it tangled with his finger. He twisted the bracelet a little further, letting it hold his finger to his wrist. Letting it ground him. He would be okay.

He had to be.

******

Roman had stopped singing, now contentedly humming and tapping his finger against the armrest of his seat. Logan had claimed he didn’t like the song, but Patton could see his index finger steadily tap out the same beat on the driving wheel. Patton settled his head against the window, letting a small smile grace his face.

Cherry trees were blooming on the sides of the roads, pink-tinged petals drifting into sight and flowing through the air like the snow of spring. He used to love window watching. Sometimes, on good days, his father would take him out to ice cream, and Patton would get to watch the different buildings race by. His father would pretend not to be tired while Patton rattled on about what he thought each blur of building was. One time when they had gone out for ice cream, Patton had seen a carnival through the window. He had thought that the lights were beautiful.

Patton wasn’t really a fan of flashing lights anymore.

“We are almost there, Patton.” Logan spoke, sparing a glance to the boy curled in the back seat. “This will be your neighborhood.”

Patton nodded. It was a nice neighborhood. He spotted a good-looking park pretty close to the cul de sac they ended up turning into, so that was cool. Maybe they could have a picnic there or something. If Logan and Roman ended up keeping him, that was. Yes, they had told him that they wanted him. Yes they had formally adopted him. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t give him back when they realized what Patton’s mother and father already had.

Patton was difficult.

It was just best not to get his hopes up.

*****

Roman hadn’t known that Patton wouldn’t have an actual bag. If he had, he would have brought a carrier so that Patton didn’t have to shove all of his clothes inside of a garbage bag. Not that he had many clothes to shove in there i the first place, but still. It was the thought that counted, right?

He huffed, easily scooping the bag out of the trunk of the car after they had parked in front of the house. There was barely anything inside it, and this was all the kid had? They had to fix that. Roman rocked on his toes, smiling at the idea of finally getting this kid some actual clothes besides the oversized shirts he had seen him wearing. Oh yeah, they would definitely be visiting the mall soon.

Patton and Logan were already on the porch, Logan unlocking and pushing open the door. Roman threw the garbage bag over his shoulder, jogging to catch up with the other two. He was so excited!

********

\-- _Holy heck this is overwhelming--_

Patton looked around the first room. A couch resting against a wall, a TV against the other. Stairs led up to what was probably the second floor. There was a whole wall of pictures, most of which had Roman and Logan in them. In one Roman was sitting on a throne, dressed as a king.

Roman caught Patton eyeing the picture with curiosity, and couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I used to act a LOT in the theatre.” he grinned, recalling all of the parts he had played. That king roll had been so interesting, too! Definitely one of his favorites.

Patton flinched at the sudden noise. He hadn’t realized that Roman was behind him.

_\--But it's fine you’re fine it’s fine--_

Roman hadn’t seemed to notice Patton’s reaction, too busy reminiscing as he traced the pictures with his gaze. Patton took a steadying breath.

It’s fine.

It was fine.

******

“This will be your room,” Logan explained, cracking open the first door on the second floor, “It is rather bare right now, I know, but we shall go shopping soon. Then you can decorate however you wish.”

Patton stepped into the room. 

It was true that there wasn’t much, but it was still huge compared to his last bedroom. A bed was pushed into the corner, and a desk was placed under a singular window. A closet with sliding doors hid a wardrobe inside of it. This was definitely an upgrade. The bed looked new. The wardrobe was ready to be filled with clothes. The overhead light didn’t even look cracked.

Patton hesitated at that. Did that mean--?

He reached for the light switch, flicking it on. The room was filled instantly with light. Patton stumbled back in surprise.

He blinked rapidly before turning to look at Logan, his mouth hanging open. “Holy heck it works!” he whispered, barely able to contain the excitement. “It turns on!”

_\--it turns on it turns on it turns on!--_

“I mean...yeah, bud. It’s supposed to?” Roman said, raising an eyebrow, “The lights…Did the lights not work at the orphanage?”

“What?" Patton squeaked, "NO, of course they did! It’s just at my old--um, where I used to live--,”

His throat felt like it had filled with cotton. How did he--how was he supposed to explain--

_\--”M-mom?” Patton asked meekly, shuffling his feet and trying to avoid contact with the woman in front of him._

_“Patton, what did we say about the stuttering?” Mom snapped, catching his eye with a glare. “I am not going to listen to you, if you stutter. Do. you. **Understand**?” she growled, stretching out the last three words an exaggerated amount. Patton blinked. She was right, of course. She had told him time and time again when he was falling into his bad habits, and he had yet to listen. “_

_Y-ye--I mean yes! Sorry Mother. I just--”_

_Mom groaned, swishing the red liquid around in her glass. A little bit sloshed out and splashed on the floor. “_

_Spit it out already, I don’t have all day.”_

_Patton almost felt like arguing that, actually, she did have all day. All she would be doing was drinking the adult juice that Patton wasn’t allowed to drink and watching a show that she didn’t want Patton to watch with her. Patton knew better than to talk back, though._

_Talking back meant either the book or the belt, and Patton wasn’t exactly a fan of either. “My light has stopped working again.” he finally said, risking a glance at his mother. It looked like she had just woken up. Her hair was tangled and she was still in her pajamas._

_“So?” she grumbled, turning back to her drink._

_“Can, um… Can you fix it?” Patton stepped back a little bit, just in case that comment made her angry._

_“No.” was what she said instead. “Just wait for your father to get home. He’s coming back in a few weeks.”_

_Patton’s father came back a month later. His mom didn’t tell him about the light._

“I--It’s just nice to have, I guess. I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense.”

If he held it in.

They would never have to know. 

******

Logan generally liked to think he was a smart person. He had gotten through his first twelve years of school with straight A’s. He had earned valedictorian in the last one.

He had worked diligently to become a teacher so that he could influence the next generation, and he knew more about Astronomy than you could learn from most textbooks. So he could tell that Patton’s past had most likely been much worse than they previously thought. Something was definitely amiss.

Roman had told him how he had flinched when they had first met, startled just by his voice. (although, to be fair, his husband's voice could be quite loud.)

The young boy seemed to appreciate physical affection, but didn’t feel like he deserved it. When Logan had talked to Patton outside the car, Patton had, it seemed, wanted the hug but stopped himself from accepting it. To go along with that, while Patton was a fan of physical affection, he was not a fan of people touching or noticing his hands. Logan could only guess it was a source of discomfort or trauma from something in the small child’s past.

He seemed disturbed by sudden or loud noises, and he had been surprised that the light in his room had worked.

Logan was filled with a sudden urge to protect Patton at all costs.

He would have to observe Patton a little closer. They needed to find out his triggers, what he liked and disliked, what was okay and what wasn’t.

This was going to be his home.

And they had to make it feel like it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! Sorry, I realize that this one is kind of a boring chapter, since we really only take a tour around the Sanders' house and Patton's room. 
> 
> But hey, we also got a small peek into Patton's past!
> 
> And what ideas will Roman and Logan come up with to try and make Patton feel more at home?
> 
> Next Chapter: they headed to the mall!
> 
> (p.s. once again, thank you for reading! <3 you guys!)  
> (p.p.s, if you've been reading for a while, maybe take some time away from the screen. Even if it's just to grab a glass of water! I know where I am right now going outside for fresh air isn't really viable at the moment, but if it is for you, go right ahead!)
> 
> see yall soon! plz leave comments if you want and kudos if you wish <3


	3. Yellows and Greys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the mall. It goes well. A little bit of family bonding occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> anxiety
> 
> food mention
> 
> selective mutism(?)

They had had pizza for dinner, which was decidedly Patton’s new favorite food. He had three slices before the questions started.

“So you like it, right?” 

Roman was on his second slice, sitting across the table from Patton with a gargantuan grin on his face.

Patton nodded, holding the crust with his fingertips and taking another bite. Warmth exploded through his mouth, the cheese mixing with the sauce mixing with the bread.

_\--Just like in Ratatouille--_

Roman chuckled across the table,

“It’s that good, huh?” he quirked an eyebrow, chewing on a tough piece.

_\--Shoot. I said that out loud. With a mouthful of cheese.--_

_\--Recover, Patton, recover!--_

“Oh. Um. Yeah, I just meant cause like the rat tastes the food and then it kind of just like-WoW!- you know? Um cause it like has a lot of flavor and he really _likes_ the flavor and it’s really good and the pizza is really good and so is the food in the movie I _assume_ it’s not like I can TASTE movie food but you know how movie food always looks great I mean i’ve only seen like five movies but still food amiright?”

_\--Nice. Great recovery there, buddy.--_

Roman had gone still in his seat. The pizza sat forgotten on the plate in front of him, and his eyes were locked onto Pattons’. 

“Patton? You’ve..You’ve only watched five movies? In your whole of being alive?” his voice was the lowest that Patton had ever heard. He glanced over at Logan, who was looking at Roman with a quizzical stare. “Please tell me...that at least one of those movies was Disney.”

Logan badly covered up a laugh, ducking under the table and coughing into his napkin.

_\--Huh? Disney? That does seem to ring a bell…--_

\-- _Didn't your old babysitter show you one once? With like, the deer?--_

_\--Bumbi? Bambo?--_

“I mean… I think so? Is, um, Bumb--er, Bambo a Disney movie? Because I--I think that I watched that one? That one’s Disney, right?” 

_\--Please let it be a Disney movie please let it be a Disney movie oh gosh don’t make him mad--_

Roman’s expression had gone from stoic to downright horrified. “BaMbI?” he squeaked, voice cracking. He placed a hand over his heart. It probably would have been funny if the shriek hadn’t just scared the bejeezus out of Patton.

“Wh--Um, is it not?! I’m sorry if it’s not, I don’t know--” he stood out of his seat, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Roman stood up too, eyebrows raised at the sudden change in the kid’s demeanor. 

_\--Reminder to Roman:stop raising your darn voice so much.--_

He stretched a hand out across the table, wishing for a second that Patton would reach out and take it. He knew he wouldn’t, but still. It was better than Roman just sitting there like an idiot. 

He hadn’t meant to make the kid jump, or push away. He just had to fix it, it would be fine. Hadn’t they read something about this when they were researching or something? Logan had insisted that they spend a day renting out library books and scouring the web before they adopted a child, there had to have been something about this in there somewhere.

\-- _Come on brain, right when I need you the most?--_

_\--Oh yeah! Step one: Reassurance--_

“Wait, Patton, it is! It is, it’s just….?”

Patton risked a glance upwards. He hadn’t realized he had gone back to staring at his shoes. Another nervous habit, probably. His mother had never appreciated eye contact. But this--this wasn’t his mother...this was Roman. Roman was half smiling, _waiting_ for Patton to look up. He did, eventually, and when Patton did so Roman sighed in relief, slipping back into his seat. Huh...

_\--Step Two: Explain--_

“Sorry for scaring you there, bud. I’ll try to keep my voice an octave lower than usual.”

He chuckled, rubbing his hands together, “What I meant was, Bambi is, like, one of the saddest ones! Ever! There’s barely a song!” he shrugged, taking a bite of salad before continuing, “I was just surprised that you hadn’t watched, I dunno, Lilo and Stitch or Snow White or something like that!”

_\--Step Three: … What was step three? Gosh darn it brain!--_

“Why don’t we watch that tonight?”

Heads whipped to Logan, still sitting in his seat and trying to stab a piece of tomato with his fork. He chuckled a little bit, chasing the tomato around the plate before looking back to the others in the room. 

_\--Step Three: attempt to problem solve.--_

“Sorry if my speaking was sudden. I just thought that, considering that this is Patton’s first night with us, we could do something other than order pizza to celebrate. As Disney is something that I know Roman enjoys and I am sure Patton will too, I thought that watching Lilo and Stitch might have been a good decision.”

Nobody responded, but Roman’s grin was back and Patton was hesitantly smiling as well. 

“It’s a plan, then.” 

****

Roman was on popcorn duty.

Logan had shown Patton where the spare blankets were kept, leaving Patton to pile as many as he could find on the couch. 

But Logan had the most daunting task of all. Digging through their Disney collection to find their movie. It probably didn’t help that they had almost every CD that Disney had released. Even the less popular movies like Sword in the Stone or the not-so-great sequels couldn’t help but be added to the mix. 

By the time Logan had found the movie, Roman was swaddled in at least three blankets and Patton had one draped across his shoulders, the popcorn bowl between them and three mugs of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream set on the coffee table.

Logan raised an eyebrow, “I don’t remember anyone being on cocoa duty.” 

“No one was, Logan, it just appeared!” Roman flailed inside his blanket burrito, eyes wide with mock surprise, “One second, I was creating the most amazing ready-pop popcorn to ever grace this home, and the next thing I knew, it was on the coffee table! A fairy must have seen what a _very special_ night this was and left it for us! How kind and considerate of them! Right, Pat?” 

Roman lightly bumped Patton’s shoulder, smiling down at the young teen. Patton glanced between Logan and Roman, eyes studying their faces before hesitantly smiling back. 

“Yep. She must have known that I’ve never had it before. And that trying it would make me happy beyond belief.” in the blink of an eye, the hesitant smile had turned into a full on smirk, the boy blinking innocently up at the bespectacled man. 

And he had thought _Roman’s_ puppy eyes were bad. Since when had these two started conspiring against him when it came to confectionary sweets?

Logan sighed. 

Well. No use letting it go to waste.

*****

It was a good movie. Well, as much of it as Patton saw. He hadn’t realized how tired he was, and the hot cocoa definitely didn’t help. It was delicious, but gosh if it didn’t make him tired. Lilo was adopting Stitch on the screen, and Patton really wanted to see how those two weird aliens would react, but he could also feel himself slipping farther and farther away.

*****

Roman had to stop himself from squealing when Patton fell asleep on his arm, tiny little snores barely heard over the movie. This kid was so darn cute!

Logan smiled at his husband affectionately, subtly turning down the movie so as not to wake the young boy. He also took a picture while he was at it. What could he say? He was one for capturing memories.

Roman scooped up the too-light child, quietly walking up the stairs with Logan behind him. 

Patton fell asleep without any troubles that night.

*****

“Did you grab your wallet?” Logan asked, quickly looping his tie and pulling it straight. 

“Yes, dear, for the last time I have my wallet. Are you almost ready to go?” Roman rolled his eyes fondly, smiling as he slung a mini backpack over his shoulder. Patton tied his shoes on the couch.

It was the afternoon of the next day, Mall day. Patton hadn’t been to a mall before. He hoped it would be nice. He was sure it would be. After all, so far all that Roman and Logan had introduced Patton to had been wonderful. Hot chocolate, pizza, _Disney._ He had no reason to doubt them.

Roman tightened the straps of his backpack one last time, flinging open the door with a grin.

“Shall we embark on our merry way, gentlemen?”

***

Logan, ever the perfectionist, had brought a list of things they needed. If Roman wanted to drag them into every toy store and candy store along the way, that was fine, but they needed to end up with at least _some_ of the stuff that they had come here for. 

They stopped by Old Navy first, rooting through the clothes and coming out with a good selection. Patton’s favorite colors definitely seemed to lean more towards pastel and light, so Logan tried to keep that in mind when looking. 

When looking through other stores’ jacket options, Logan stumbled upon a rather charming hoodie. Light grey, so it would hopefully suit Patton’s color ideals. It also sported cat ears and drawstrings with large pom poms on them. Even more so, the jacket’s sleeves seemed to have built in thumb holes, as if to hold the sleeves deliberately over the users hands. 

Logan wasn’t blind. He saw how Patton continually tried to hide his hands, stuffing them in his pockets or crossing his arms as he walked. He had noticed how he seemed extremely uncomfortable when he thought someone was looking at them or when someone wanted to shake his hands, trying to minimize the amount of people who saw his scars. He saw how Patton usually only used his fingertips when trying to grab something, as if anything even touching the scars brought attention to them. 

Logan knew it was quite a long shot, but maybe having the connected sleeves covering his hands would… ease his concerns. Help him hide his scars that he did not wish to bear to the world yet and let his heart a little freer yet.

Logan bought it.

Patton hadn’t talked much since they had gotten to the mall, which hadn’t concerned him. Logan had been told that Patton had trouble in crowded and confined spaces, and his natural instinct was to stop speaking. It at least seemed like Patton was still enjoying himself, looking around with eyes full of wonder and a full grin on his face; probably the first they had seen from him. Needless to say, when Logan showed Patton the hoodie he was extremely excited. When he slipped it on and found the thumb holes that allowed the sweater paws to cover his hands, he grew even more excited.

Squealing with quiet excitement, Patton jumped up and down with barely contained energy, flapping his newly hoodied hands in the air. 

He shook happily, what Logan took as barely contained excitement making him vibrate as he spread his fingers as far apart as he could in front of him, the scars hidden for now.

It was a little warm outside, but Logan didn’t want to take away from the boy’s excitement. And besides that, the mall was air conditioned. Logan gave Patton a fond smile and let him wear the hoodie outside of the store. He didn’t miss the tiny “Thank you!” that Patton whispered as he hugged his arms close.

***

Roman knew that the list was important to fill out and stuff. They definitely needed to get Patton all of the stuff that Logan had written down, but other stuff was important too! 

Like Disney.

Disney was very important.

So while Logan went into some other store to search for some books that Patton might like, or a couple of new blankets for the bed “just in case it gets cold,” Roman led Patton into the Disney Store. “Let it Go” was playing over the speakers, and little children were running under the castle structured in the center of the store. Patton moved a little closer to Roman’s side, and Roman’s heart melted a little bit when he shuffled to lean slightly into Roman’s side.

The kid seemed so quick to trust at times. He was already starting to trust them enough to keep him safe in areas he wasn’t comfortable in, and he had fallen asleep in the same room as them last night. But at other times, he didn’t seem to trust them at all. The incident at the table, despite his best efforts, had shook Roman up. He honestly just wished he knew he was doing the right thing.

“Come on buddy, let’s get you some merchandise.” Roman grinned, walking over to the back of the store. His insecurities would have to wait. Right now he was hanging out with his kid.

*** 

They loaded Pat up with more shirts, each with a different Disney movie or character on it, many that Patton didn’t know.

“Don’t worry,” Roman promised, “You will soon enough.” with every piece of Disney memorabilia that Roman put into the basket, he rattled off the plot and his favorite song. He also couldn’t seem to help but rant about how amazing the animation used to be, before they defaulted to 3D. 

Patton smiled, happy to hear about all of the future movies they would get to watch together.

\-- _If they keep you--_

_\--Please shut up--_

After loading in a Lilo and Stitch picture book, they walked up to the counter. 

Or Roman did. Patton had stopped dead in his tracks, ensnared by a stuffed animal on the top shelf in the very back of the store. 

_\--That looks familiar…--_

_\--...I want it.--_

Patton turned to Roman, opening his mouth to speak before his throat closed up. Nothing new about that, but it was frustrating when Pat really needed to communicate. He flexed his fingers, trying to find a way to tell Roman.

Without thinking, his fingers shot out, yanking on the hem of Roman’s shirt to grab his attention. Roman whirled around, and Patton flinched back, an apology lodged in the back of his throat.

_\-- Oh you’re in for it now Mother’s going to punish you for this one you probably stretched the shirt out and everythi--_

_\--N-not Mother. Not Mother. Roman.--_

Roman smiled good-naturedly, “what is it, little buddy?” 

Patton took a shaky breath, glad that Roman hadn’t seemed to pick up on his tiny freak-out. He pointed at the item, screwing his eyes shut and hoping Roman would get what he was asking. Roman looked where he was pointing and his smile grew even wider. “Oh, awesome, I love Winnie-the-Pooh!” 

He pulled the stuffed bear down, looking it over. “It looks pretty well made, too. Let’s get this too, yeah?” 

Patton nodded eagerly, pulling on the sweater sleeves with his fingertips. 

***

“Are--Um, do you have the Winnie-the-Pooh movies, too?” they were out of the store, more in the open and with less people milling about. Patton could only speak in a whisper right now, but at least he could speak again. It was always frustrating when he couldn’t seem to communicate with anyone.

“Oh yeah, I love those ones.” Roman bounced on his heels, adjusting the bags that were slung across his arms. They were looking for Logan, who said he had stopped by the food court. Only problem was, Roman was horrible with directions and they had somehow ended up on the other side of the mall because Roman had a “feeling” that the food court would be next to a fountain. Needless to say, there wasn’t a fountain on that side either.

Patton had pulled the Winnie-the-Pooh bear, or as he had started calling it, Bear, out of the bag as soon as they had left the store. It felt good to hold, and when he slipped his hands out of the hoodie the fake fur felt cool on his hands. 

“Do you--you think we could watch those? The next time, I mean. I mean, if there is a next time? Like, with movies and popcorn and-and hot chocolate?” he squeezed Bear a little harder, and carding his hands through the fur as he watched his and Roman’s shoes step at the same time.

_-One, Two, One, Two, One, Two--_

“Oh, for sure.” Roman hefted the bag onto his shoulder with a grin, “Already moved to the top of the list.”

\-- _He cares. He said yes. You should say thank you--_

And of course Patton knew that. But somehow he felt like he couldn’t just--say it. He wanted to show Roman “Thank you.”

Patton shifted Bear into one hand, and, before he could overthink it, reached out for Roman’s hand. 

Their hands clashed together a bit before Patton got hold. It had been a while since Patton had held someone’s hand, as Mother wasn’t much of a hand holder and Father wasn’t really around, so it was clumsy. Patton’s fingers grasped at Roman’s hand in a weak grip, already somewhat slipping and barely holding on. 

Roman startled, looking down in surprise, and beaming once he realized what Patton was attempting to do. He shifted his hand, wrapping Patton’s more securely. The hoodie had slipped back over his hand, but still--he was surprised that he felt safe. He realized he felt he could trust Roman. 

Roman, toes tapping with barely contained excitement, gently pulled Patton along with him.

“Come on Pat.” he said, “Logan got us Panda Express for lunch.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three! Is finally up!
> 
> Sorry gang, I know this one took a bit, but school has been kicking my butt recently and I honestly struggled a bit just with starting the chapter.
> 
> But in other news:
> 
> The fam is b o n d i n g. And I love writing that.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I <3 you guys!
> 
> As always, if you've been on this site for a while, think of taking a break from the screen. Take a bike ride, listen to some music, take a nap!(I've been re-reading Astro City) Or, just go outside and get a whiff of fresh air. 
> 
> And, also as always, plz leave comments if you want and kudos if you wish. Stay safe, gang! <3


	4. Talk to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton has a nightmare about the past, and his mother.
> 
> Luckily, Logan is there to help him out in his own way
> 
> TW:
> 
> Nightmares
> 
> Implied child abuse
> 
> Hospital mention
> 
> Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is named after a song!
> 
> It's by Cavetown, one of my favorite bands, and I would definitely recommend checking this song out.
> 
> The lyrics they listen to on the radio are also from the same song.

_ “Please let me out!” Patton sobbed, pounding on the door. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to Mama!” he rattled the doorknob desperately. _

_ The floor was cracking underneath him, spider webbing across the floor and up the walls. It creaked under his weight, dipping down beneath his feet. Tears streamed down his cheeks; Mother wasn’t going to let him out. He let go of the doorknob, leaping towards his bed. He needed to get off the floor.  _

_ He struggled on the edge, grabbing onto the blankets and hoisting himself up.  _

_ When did the bed get so tall? _

_ Why are the blankets so thick? _

_ The blanket he had pulled himself up on suddenly wrapped around his wrist, traveling up his arm and down to encase his hand, tightening its grip like a snake constricting its meal. Flames licked up the blanket, hot and scorching, burning through and encasing his entire arm in sudden fire. Patton screamed, pulling desperately at the blanket, trying to get it off as it wrapped around his torso, crushing him, he was on fire, he couldn’t breath, he  _ **_couldn’t breath. The floor was breaking._ **

Patton woke up with a choking gasp. 

_ GET IT OFF GET IT OFF. _

Something was tangled around him, fighting his legs and holding his hands too close TOO CLOSE. He kicked shrieking when he finally freed himself from the blanket cocoon and kicked it off the bed. Patton shoved himself in a corner, sobbing freely. Tears dripped off his chin as he struggled to breath. He needed to leave, he needed to get out, he was STUCK. Why was the door closed, mother had locked it he was going to die because

Fire

Doorknob

Rotting Wood

Too many Blankets

“Patton?”

Who was there who had opened the door he should LEAVE the door was open but mother would be mad he wasn’t allowed to leave who was THERE.

“Patton, please listen to me. Breathe in for 4 seconds.” Patton couldn’t, he couldn’t, where was the fire the fire the fire?

_ Listen to him. _

_ He’s trying to help _

Patton inhaled, gasping.

“Good. Hold it for 7 seconds.”

Patton shook, hands desperately grasping for something to ground him. Someone put Bear in his hands. He dug his fingers into the fake fur. 

“You are doing so well, Patton. Now, with me, breathe out for 8.”

Patton exhaled, a shaky breath but a breath nonetheless. The voice repeated it five more times, until his breathing was shaky but stable. His breathing had cooled down slightly, but his thoughts would not slow.

_ They had to calm you down, you woke them up _

_ You have to apologize this is all your fault all your fault _

“I-i’m sorry I’m so sorry, I’m sorry-”

Someone touched his shoulder and he flinched away, pressing himself back into the corner. 

“Okay, no touching. That’s alright.”

_ Why was mother talking like that? Why was her voice so deep? _

Something nudged his hand. 

_ Your glasses. _

_ They’re giving you your glasses. _

He grasped them carefully, placing them on his face with shaking fingers. He waited a second for his vision to adjust staring at the figure crouching at the end of his bed. 

_ Its mother she’s mad get out get out g _ **_et out._ **

It was Logan, in a set of pajamas and with glasses pushed up to rest on the top of his head. He was squinting slightly, a worried smile on his face.

_ He’s worried _

_ You made him worried you screamed and you woke him up he’s mad _

_ You’re going to get punished he’s going to use the belt or the book or-- _

_ You need to get out _

_ You need to--- _

He jerked up, squeezing the bear a little tighter. He attempted to find his voice.

“I need to...G-get out. I need to get out please I can’t be here I c-can’t--please I need to get out!” His voice rose as he struggled to get the words out.

“4-7-8 for me buddy, there you go...out. Do you mean out of your room? Out of the house?” Logan shifted, folding a leg under him and adjusting his glasses so they were perched on the bridge of his nose. Patton nodded quickly.  _ Yes yes yes _ . Logan nodded back, thoughtfully, and stood up.

“Wait here for one more minute, alright Patton?”

He walked out of the room, leaving Patton to practice the breathing exercise. He left the door open.

_ He left. _

_ He left why did he leave why didn’t he close the door why didn’t he lock it? _

_ He gave me Bear… _

_ He helped me calm down. _

_ He didn’t touch me… _

_ But he left why did he leave? _

_ He hates you _

_ Why does he want you--? _

“Alright, Patton,” 

Logan's silhouette appeared in the doorway, framed by the light pouring in from the hall. Patton glanced down at his hands. Keys. Car keys.

No belt or book.

He wasn’t going to be punished for waking him up.

“Let’s go for a drive.”

*****

Patton focus on his breathing like Logan had told him to. A faint memory surfaced, of a night he spent in the hospital before being sent to the orphanage. Of waking up screaming, scratching and tearing at his bandages until a nurse rushed in to calm him down. She had done the same breathing device Logan had. That had been one of the kinder nurses, one of the ones who told him stories to help him fall asleep. She had given him the storybook that Patton had left at the orphanage. He hoped she was doing well.

“Would music help?”

Patton snapped to attention, barely suppressing a flinch at the sudden voice. “Yeah, that would be fine…”

Logan popped in the CD and turned the volume low so that it could bleed into the background, something called Cavetown. “I discovered their music in high school. The lyrics can be surprisingly poignant.”

Logan gave a small smile, speeding down the empty street. The lyrics leaked out of the stereo and into Patton’s brain, flowing around him. 

~ _ You don’t have to be a hero to save the world, _

_ It doesn’t make you a narcissist to love yourself,~ _

“Do you… Want to talk about it?”

Logan’s eyes were on the road, but he didn’t miss the tensing of Patton’s shoulders. “We do not have to if you don’t want to.” 

The tension eased in his shoulders, but the young boy still shook his head, “N-no… I want to talk about it.” his fingers flexed on the armrest, gripping then letting go as he took a deep breath. “It-it helps sometimes. To g-get the dream out in the open.” he closed his eyes, seemingly bracing himself for the task.

_ ~We can talk here on the floor, _

_ On the phone if you prefer _

_ I’ll be here until you're okay.~ _

Logan waited, letting the song drift between them until Patton was ready. He was going to offer that Patton not tell him when Patton shifted and spoke, “I-had a bad dream, obviously...About my-my mom.” 

Logan tried to conceal his surprise, not wanting to stop the story. No one knew much of Patton’s family life, not even the orphanage had been able to drag the information of him.

“I, um...I had done something bad, so she l-locked me in my room. The-the floo-ors started--and then the floor started cracking- while I was standing on it--the blankets w-where on on on fire--and I I I--”

_ ~It’s so dark tonight _

_ It looks nice _

_ Fall asleep,~ _

“It is alright, Patton...you do not have to finish. It is evident that this is a painful dream for you. I get the jist of what happened now.” he risked a glance and a smile at the boy sitting next to him. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me what you did, though.”

Patton nodded, a shaky smile making its way onto his face.

Logan grabbed the parking brake, cranking it forward and letting the last strains of the song die down.

_ ~Talk to me~ _

He pulled the keys out, stepping out of the car and watching as Patton did the same on his side. Patton looked around. They had pulled off onto the side of the road. They were surrounded by tall trees on both sides of the road, towering above them .The moon filtered through the branches. The air tested fresh and crips, and Patton inhaled deeply.

“What are we doing here, Logan?”

Patton turned to Logan, who seemed to be walking towards the line of trees. Logan shrugged, looking back at him, “I know that you wanted to get out of the house. Come on, follow me. THis is the place I used to go when things became too much.”

Patton followed Logan, walking between towering oaks. It was a short trek up a slight hill, but the view was worth it. They were at the top of the hill, a clearing littered with pale white wildflowers. The moon had peaked right over the hill, and the sky glittered with more stars than Patton had ever seen. A gate snaked across the side of the hill opposite to them, and below the gate the town looked peaceful and serene. Logan laid down on the hill, patting the space next to him to indicate that Patton do the same.

Patton settled down next to him, blinking and adjusting the glasses on his face. The moon was a shining crescent above him, clouds drifting lazily over the stars and dusting the moon. He took a deep breath. The air felt clean and filled his lungs with the scent of the oak and wildflowers surrounding him. 

He felt at peace up here. Away from his nightmares. Away from the suffocation of the walls that closed around him. It was like Logan knew exactly what he had needed. Nobody had done stuff for him like this before. Taking him out into nature, into a place that was special to them, so that they couldn make him feel better. It filled him with a warm feeling from his head to his toes.  _ Happy. _ He realized,  _ They made you happy.  _ It had been a long time since he had been happy.

A lump was forming in his throat.

_ Why...why do they want to make you happy so bad? Why do they buy you things and do stuff for you. You just cause problems. You get stressed out too easily. You  _ _ made _ _ them buy things for you. You woke Logan up… _ Patton closed his eyes, blocking out the stars as he screwed them shut. _ And now you’re gonna cry….Ugh, mom was right. _

_ You’re pathetic. _

Logan sat up next to him, nudging Patton’s shoulder gently. “Hey Patton, what’s wrong? I was hoping that bringing you here would help, but--”

“It did, it’s just--” Patton heaved himself up, taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He took a shuddering breath. Tears pricked his eyes, and a sob broke past his lips, “Why do you guys want me?” the tears sped up, falling in a steady stream. Logan faltered, watching as the ten-year old slowly broke down in front of him. He swallowed hard, placing a grounding hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“Because we love you.”

Patton hiccuped, cradling his hands close to his chest.

“From the moment I met you, Patton, I knew we needed you in our family. The same goes for Roman, I’m sure. Even the small amount of time we’ve spent with you has been a joy. We love when you make little jokes and how hard you...try. We love you.”

Patton broke down in a fresh wave of sobs, burying his face in his clenched fists.

“C-can I-I-I ha-Ave a h-hug?” he shook, looking up at Logan with teary eyes as he tried to gain some sense of control. Logan smiled softly, nodding before wrapping Patton up and pulling him close. He rocked the child back and forth, brushing his hair back with his fingers and letting him cry. He let a tear of his own fall as well. For what Patton had been through. For how little Patton seemed to think of himself and how his fear seemed to consume him so. Logan took a deep breath.

Something needed to fill the silence other than the crickets, so Logan spoke of the constellations. Of Orion, and Cancer, and of one that had been labelled obsolete long ago called “Bufo,” a giant toad of sorts. Eventually, Patton had cried himself dry, but he still lay wrapped up in the arms of his adoptive father. He buried his face into his jacket. It was warm and dry, and he was so, so tired. 

The stars were pretty...

  
  


Logan’s voice lulled him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four!
> 
> I had it in my drafts for a while, but I finally got around to posting it(yay!)
> 
> I hope you like it, this was actually one of the first ideas that I had when I first started thinking up this storyline.
> 
> What can I say, I love me some parental logicality.
> 
> I hope you all are having a fantastic day!
> 
> Leave a comment if you want and kudoz if you wish! <3


	5. A second cup of Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has gone off with Patton to try and talk him down from his nightmare.
> 
> Meanwhile, what's Roman doing?
> 
> Answer: Not much. Self doubt and coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:
> 
> Self doubt(?)
> 
> not many tbh  
> this chapter is pretty fluffy I think  
> aka everyone is tired and wholesome as hekk

Chapter Five

_ Someone was crying. _

Roman groaned, rolling over in bed and burying his head under a pillow.

Then he sat up ramrod straight as the sound processed in his sleep addled mind, all hope of rest quickly forgotten as the hysterical crying was quieted slightly and muffled words drifted through the walls.

_ Patton. _

_ Patton was crying, and you tried to go back to sleep. _

Roman bit his lip, guilt filling his chest. He glanced at the other side of the bed, now vacant.

_ At least Logan got up to help… _

Roman shuffled off the bed, sliding on his slippers and walking so he could lean his ear against the wall. He probably shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but he just had to know what was going on, and he felt like if he came in now it would only cause Patton to spiral deeper. As if to prove his point, one of the muffled voices rose, breaking as they sobbed to--”get out?”

Roman felt a pang in his chest, sad at how obviously distraught and scared Patton was.

The door creaked open quietly, causing Roman to push himself to his feet and stumble away from the wall. Logan froze in the doorway, shock etched onto his features. To be fair, it was probably surprising that Roman was standing in the middle of their bedroom frozen like a statue and  _ very _ awake. He had the reputation of being an incredibly heavy sleeper. 

“H-hey,” he whispered, crossing his arms awkwardly, “How is he?”

Logan sighed, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. He grabbed the car keys from the bedside table and moved around Roman to the closet at the back of the room.

“He had a nightmare that I think may have been fueled by past trauma. I do not know yet what it was about, but something about being in his room...isn’t helping him, so…” he held up the car keys with his index finger. “We’re going to go on a drive. Hopefully it will quell his worries and possibly let him catch up on some sleep.” having found the jacket he wanted from the closet, Logan pulled it over his sleep shirt. He walked back over to Roman, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and patting his shoulder before moving to the door with a small smile.

“I’ll make sure we aren’t out too long, and we won’t drive too far. Just a quick trip to hopefully clear his mind. See you soon, try to get some sleep.” 

“Text me when you get there?” 

Logan nodded, smiling sweetly,

“Of course, love.”

***   
  


Roman tried to sleep, really he did. But he just couldn’t stop thinking about poor Patton, waking up from a nightmare so scary it left him screaming. Instead, he made coffee and sat at the dining room table. He scrolled through his laptop docs, adjusting the cast list that the director had sent him and getting to work on the art for the flyers they would be hanging up soon to advertise their production. 

After almost an hour, Logan had finally texted Roman that Patton was asleep. The picture he sent along with it didn’t fail to make Roman melt as he downed his second cup of coffee. Patton had curled into Logan’s side, fingers gently grasping his jacket and glasses askew on his face. His eyes were screwed chut, and his mouth was slightly ajar. 

Roman’s heart ached. The kid always looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Or at least, not nearly as nervous. He knew that they would have to work their way there...BUt they would get to a place eventually, where Patton wouldn’t need to fear repercussions for anything and everything. They would just have to be patient.

***

Roman was halfway through his third cup of coffee when he heard the car door slam shut. He closed his laptop, standing to push in his chair and make it to the front door. He pulled the blanket that he had snatched from the back of the couch one coffee ago more securely around his shoulders.

Minutes later, Logan walked in cradling a still sleeping Patton in his arms. The kid’s face had smoothed over, finally seeming relaxed despite the fingers still desperately clutched in the fabric of Logan's jacket.

Roman couldn’t help but take a picture. What could he say? Logan wasn’t the only one who liked to document memories. 

At the sound of the phone camera’s click, Logan finally looked up from where he had been struggling to take off his shoes without dropping the little bundle in his arms. He sighed, eyes tired as he glanced at the disney mug Roman had in his hands. “What number is that, Ro?” He whispered in an exhausted tone. Roman chuckled, “would you believe me if I said it was my first?”

Logan rolled his eyes, seemingly giving up on his shoes at the moment and shifting Patton in his arms. He smoothed the curls of the sleeping teen away from his forehead before turning back to his husband. “No, as a matter of fact. Why are you still up? I said that you could get some sleep, do you not have a meeting with your brother in the morning?”

Well, that was technically true. Roman had been planning on meeting up with his brother at a new coffee place downtown the following morning, but still-- “I...I just couldn’t fall asleep. After you left.” he confessed, placing the mug on their coffee table and moving closer to his husband. “I couldn’t stop thinking that I should have woken up, gone to help...Instead I just rolled over and went back to sleep. He  _ needed  _ me, and I just. Fell. Asleep.” he brushed a tear out from under his eye, looking away from his husband’s face for a second so he could take a stuttering breath. “That...isn’t something a good parent does. What if I'm not cut out for this like you are? What if I fail him?”

_ Patton… _

_ Little Patton who had already had more than enough people fail him… _

_ Who was still willing to trust Roman enough to hold his hand, even though they were sensitive and even triggering at times. _

_ What is Roman messed up? _

Logan snorted, shifting Patton around so that he had a hand open, and grasped Roman’s hand in his. 

“You  _ are _ a good parent, Roman. We are both very new at this, and are bound to make a few mistakes. We have had Patton for a week, so things are not destined to go smoothly. It is true that this time I was the one that woke up to aid Patton, but I am sure in time we will work out a schedule in which we both do so.” he smiled slightly rubbing circles in the back of Roman’s hand with his thumb.

“Furthermore, I am almost certain that Patton would also disagree with you saying you are a ‘bad parent.’”

Roman scoffed, “No offense, love but I am not sure that Patton’s ‘good parent’ bar is set very high.”

Logan looked ready to retort, but the conversation halted when a high whine emanated from the little bundle of pajamas and brown curls in Logan’s arms. Logan started humming a nameless tune as Roman ran his fingers through the little boy’s hair, whispering little things to sooth his distress.

After a few minutes, the whimpering died down and his face smoothed out once more. His fingers had left Logan’s jacket and instead wrapped together, his hands clenched to his chest.

Logan smirked up at Roman, eyebrow quirked with a silent chuckle, “Not a good parent, huh?” he whispered. Roman stuttered, growing pink with embarrassment. “That-that was a team effort!” he hissed, crossing his arms. 

Logan shrugged, “Sure, that was \\. But who has he let hold his hand so far? You. Who did he hug first? You. Who introduced him to Disney? You. Think about it. Don’t sell yourself short darling.”

Logan yawned, barely covering it with his hand. 

“Now if you don’t mind terribly dear, I would love to sleep before the sun finishes rising in the sky. Would you…?” 

He held out the sleeping Patton in his arms, and Roman nodded with a new determination. With a little bit of shuffling, the kiddo was secure in Romans’ grasp. Logan smiled, kissing Roman on the cheek and giving a tired thumbs up as he walked towards their room.

“Goodnight, dearest.”

Roman couldn’t help but chuckle at tired Logan. Usually Logan was very careful about his sleep schedule, so when Roman did see him tired it was definitely different. 

A discontented whine shook Roman from thoughts of his adorably exhausted husband to his adorable  _ and _ exhausted child. His eyebrows were creased together, and his tiny form was tense even in his sleep. Roman pushed open the door to Patton’s room as quietly as possible. He was pretty proud of how it had turned out, and Patton had seemed excited about it too when they had finally finished decorating.

Three of the walls were now a light gray, while the third they had decided on painting a pastel blue. The desk had paper scattered with drawings on it ever since Roman had found that old box of crayons in the attic. Logan had bought some fairy lights, which were now strewn across the ceiling and emanating a soft yellow light. Since Patton had talked about the faulty light in his old “home”, the couple had decided that wasn’t going to happen again any time soon. So even if the main lights went out, Patton had the fairy lights, as well as a star shaped night light plugged into the wall. His blankets were a good find as well. The color scheme matched the walls, gray and blue. They were soft and fluffy as clouds, but still managed to keep a person warm. Those blankets were now on the floor, however.

“Well, we’ll just have to do something about that.” he murmured, placing Patton on the bed and leaning down to pick up the blankets that had pooled onto the floor. He tucked the first one around Pat, the only one that had managed to cling to the bed. Patton curled around it instantly, hands grabbing Bear on instinct and burying his face in a pillow.

_ Such a sweet kiddo… _

Roman smiled, brushing the boys’ hair back and giving him a little forehead kiss before leaning to pick up the next blanket. The other blankets had fallen on the floor, so Roman brought them to the laundry room. 

After he set up the washer, the caffeine made its last lap.  _ God, he was so tired.  _ He trudged his way up the stairs, pushing his door open as quiet as possible before abandoning all subtlety and diving for the bed.

He wrapped his arms around Logan after setting his alarm for the next day. He rested his head next to Logan’s, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. 

“Didn’t hear cryin’.” a sleepy Logan slurred, patting Roman’s face lightly in the dark. “See? You’re a good dad. I’m always right, remember?” 

Roman chuckled, curling closer, “Yeah, I guess you are.”

_ He could do this. They could do this. Something about tonight told him that, though if you asked him he couldn’t find why specifically. He just knew now. They would be--they already were--a family. _

“Goodnight, love.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaay Chapter Five!
> 
> Fun fact, this chapter was labeled "Romano's Woes" in the doc.  
> I was this close to keeping it, to be honest.
> 
> Happy early Halloween to those who celebrate it, please be safe if you are contributing in trick-or-treating!
> 
> As always, I hope that your day, week, and month are wonderful, and thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please leave comments if you like and kudoz if you wish.<3


	6. Birds of a Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman gets to meet up with his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw:
> 
> food mention(cereal and coffee)
> 
> hospital mention
> 
> thanks for reading!

_ The next morning _

Logan placed a bowl in front of Patton (honey nut cheerios, healthy but still sweet) and sat across from him, pushing in the chair with a tired sigh. It had been late when he had finally fallen asleep again.

Patton had pulled his cat hood over his head, fiddling with the ears in quiet thought while he stared at his breakfast. Logan noticed him glance at the spot that Roman usually sat, now vacant, and then back at his cereal. “Um...where’s Roman today?” he finally said, looking up to meet Logan’s eyes. “Is he going on a trip?”

A what? Logan paused from where he had been digging into his own bowl of oatmeal. “Trip? What do you mean by that Pat?” the child shrugged helplessly in reply, fiddling with the hoodie strings in lew of the ears on his hood. “You know. A trip.” he repeated, looking at Logan as if for all the world the explanation was obvious and not like he was grasping for words. “Where he goes to work? And he doesn’t...he doesn’t come back for a while? My--my father used to have to go on them a lot.” 

At that, he broke eye contact to stare at his lap instead, tapping his finger against his chest in an anxious rhythm with the hoodie strings still wrapped securely around his fingertips.

Logan put down his spoon, “Oh. No, buddy, he’s not going on a trip. His work doesn’t usually require him to leave for more than the average workday. And even if he was, he would tell you and me beforehand. He wouldn’t want to leave for that long before saying goodbye. He just went to meet up with his brother.”

Patton nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. He unwound his fingers from the hoodie string with the smile, pushing the hood off his head. “Okay.” he took a bite of his cereal.

***

Roman walked into the little cafe a few minutes early in the hope that he would be able to order his drink before Remus showed. His brother’s schedule was often packed with appointments, but he had found some time around them so that they could finally talk. He liked to meet up with his brother whenever he could, as they had grown rather close as they got older. Plus, it was the only time that they really got to catch up.

The cafe was packed to the brim. It was popular, but Roman didn’t often find himself coming to it. Remus was a much bigger fan of it, since it was only ten minutes from his work. Roman always found himself going to the milkshake shop instead.

He wasn’t even in the line yet when he heard someone call out his name. Roman turned, spotting his brother rather quickly even through the crowd. To be fair,he was waving his hand like a maniac. A snort escaped his mouth without his consent before he raised his hand in a two-fingered salute. 

“So, it’s green again?” he said as he made his way over, pointing at his twin's neon green hair. Remus shrugged, seemingly unable to wipe the smile off his face. “Take a wild guess, buddy. I ordered a drink for you.” he pushed an opaque coffee cup across the table towards Roman. Roman glanced down at the cup in front of him before looking back up at Remus just in time for him to throw ten sugar packets and a salt on his frappuccino.

“Yeah...I think I’m good. Thanks though.” he grimaced, pushing the cup back towards his brother. Remus rolled his eyes before grabbing Roman’s wrist and forcefully putting the cup back into his hand. “Please, it’s just a caramel macchiato. I’m not a monster. Now, do you dare me to dump this whole thing on my coffee?” Remus giggled, holding the lid of the cinnamon in one hand while he held the dusting container itself at the tipping point above his coffee.

“What? Of course not, wh-aaand you did it anyways.” Roman shook his head in disbelief as Remus started to lick the mountain of cinnamon off of where it had piled on top of his frappuccino before it sunk deeper into the whipped cream. “People have died from that, holy shit Rem. You are never babysitting.”

Remus sneezed, causing an explosion of cinnamon dust to release into the air. He grinned, sticking his cinnamon-coated tongue out playfully at his brother. “Yeah right, brobro, I’d be an amazing babysitter. You’d be lucky to have me. Speaking of which-” he wiped a bit of whipped cream off of where it had fallen on the table, “how is your newest ray of sunshine? Is Teach adjusting well?” 

“First of all, you know he hates that nickname. You’ve been calling him “teach” since high school. Are you ever going to let that go?” Remus shrugged playfully, twisting a bracelet around his wrist. That was a no. Roman snorted, “Geez, you wear a tie in high school for three years and this is what you get. But...yeah, you could say he’s adjusting well.” Roman could feel the warm smile grow on his face. “He’s doing great. Pat loves him, I can tell. And he can just...read him, so well. You know?” Roman let the smile loose, a full grin stretching across his face. “He’s already such a great dad.” 

“Simp.” 

“Hey!” Roman protested, laughing. “Rude!”

“Well am I wrong?” Remus snarked, “Alright, now that you’ve talked about  _ your _ stuff for  _ hours and hours--” _

“Oh, get on with it, you drama queen.” Roman rolled his eyes. “How is work going? That one guy you’ve been working with a while? How’s he doing?”

“Well, you know how physical therapy is. Some go faster than others. We’ve moved on from simple movements to ones that are more complex.” Remus shrugged, “He’s been taking to it pretty well as is right now, though.” he paused to take another sip of his drink, mixing it around so that the whipped cream swirled with the coffee. 

The brothers talked until they had exhausted every topic they could think of in the half hour break that Remus had before he had to return and the crowd had thinned to a more manageable buzz. 

They parted ways before he slid back into the car, turning up the music and driving back home.

***

“Hey Missy. Is my next appointment ready to go?” Remus shrugged on his coat and id tag. The receptionist brushed a lock of her hair back behind her ear, letting loose a small exasperated sigh before spinning in her chair to face him. “Yup! Right on time, my guy. You know the room number?”

“Yeah, Miss. He’s only been my client for over nine months.” 

Missy shot him a finger gun before turning back to her computer with a laugh and a shake of her head. 

Remus made his way down the hall, turning corners with practiced ease before making it to his destination. He rapped the door twice with his knuckles before entering the room. The occupant glanced up from where he was holding a book left handed. He raised a finger in a wave before concentrating back on his task. He slowly raised his right hand, turning a few pages before reaching his arm a little further down the bed and grabbing a bookmark and placing it between the pages. He closed the book and set it to the side. 

“Looks like you’ve been practicing.” Remus commented. This particular client had been struggling longer than most, especially with the additional therapy appointments he had to go to along with his physical therapy appointments with Remus. Seeing him be able to move both arms, even if it was just reading a book, was great.

The man nodded, trying for a weak smile.

“I take it you’re ready for your appointment today?” Remus tried again. His client took a shaky breath, nodding again. 

“Can I try to get into the wheelchair myself today?” 

That was something new. “Of course. I’ll be right next to you, but it’s just in case you fall.”

He watched as the man hoisted himself into a sitting position, making sure that he stayed stable.

“Alright. Be careful when you stand, it might be a little shocking.”

His client responded with a grimace, shaking slightly as he stood on his own two feet for the first time in a while.

When he finally got into the wheelchair, he broke into a tired smile. “Alright.” he said, “I’m ready.” 

Remus returned the smile, grabbing the handles of the wheelchair. 

“Alright, Janus! Let’s get you to that appointment.” he cheered, pushing open the door, 

“I’ve got a good feeling about today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, hasn't it?  
> Sorry that it's taken so long, but I wanted to be at least a little proud of the chapter i'd written.  
> I hoped that you liked this chapter nonetheless!
> 
> Please leave kudoz if you want and comments if you wish<3
> 
> Stay safe out there!

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! You made it through the first chapter! congratulations, I hope that you enjoyed it. If you've been reading a while, make sure to go outside for at least a minute and take some breaths of fresh air! Next chapter hopefully coming soonish!!


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